Bowlful Of Crickets

I've just moved in so I have some decorating (tweaking the loook) and unpacking (trying to get the old comments over, adding links) to do. I'll have you all over once I get settled.

So I updated my blog software- which delightfully removed the customization I added to my site.

I'll dig in to the templates again soon and will provide you all with something new and exciting.

Until then, bask in the plainess of this blog!

So the blogging came to a standstill YET AGAIN, but this time it was beacuase I was working on my best albums of 2006 list, the Timmy Awards.

Expanded from a Top 25 to a Top 50, here it is:

http://www.vasilcastle.com/timmys/2006.htm

I have three jackass sodas on deck and more fun coming your way soon...

If you go searching through your desk and find one of these:

Understand that over time, the marshmallow has turned into some sort of space age plastic, with an unforeseeble gumminess and an odd aftertaste.

I'm not saying that if you find one lying around that you shouldn't eat- but now you are informed. Proceed as you will.

(Part Four in the series. Jolly Good)

Name: Tango Apple
Alleged Flavor: uh...Apple
Actual Flavor: Cider in soda form, with a touch of artificial sweetner
Color: Cider-y
Tasting sample was from: 330 ml. can, poured into glass

Observations on British/Irish soda thus far:

1) They aren't all that fizzy. Maybe it's a freshness issue, but they all fizz out right after the pouring.

2) Most seem to have a mix of sugar and artificial sweetener. What's the point in that?

3) They wind up tasting a little two sweet and not strong enough in flavor.

So, Tango Apple then. More of the same, I'm afraid to say, but it's not too bad. A little fruit juice means that it has a strong juice/cider feel to it, reminiscent of one of my all-time favorite sodas, the short-lived Apple Slice. I don't know if it was ever release nationwide, but they had it where i was, and it was good. So this reminds me of that, but with an overiding artificial sweetener taste. In some ways, this is better than the Jones Green Apple soda, as the flavor here is more "real"- it even has real fruit juice. But Jones has a bit more of a tart bite, so it gets the slight edge.

Not so sure about the can either. Even the top of the can is black. And the puffy green lips? Not sure I understand the appeal, and not sure if it's because I'm not British or because I'm not 13 years old.

A good soda, but I'm not too sad that i can't get it in mass quantities here...

Rating: 7.5 out of 10

Since my blog has made it's latest return, not a ton of folks have stopped by. (For those of you that have, thanks for making it back. Based on the feedback I've had thus far, I need to do more Urologist jokes.)

Anywho, the spammers know I'm back, as my inbox has started to come alive with trackback and comment spam. Most of it is the usual- a poor graphic of some stock tip that keeps going up and up, where I can get funny ringtones or play online poker. I got one today that made me pause and actually read it. It was from someone identified as Kit and the subject line was:

Stir in basil, garlic, and pepper flakes; cook 1 minute.

O.K., it's lunchtime, it's food, I'm going to open this one. In the message itself was this:

Pour into glasses and garnish with mint sprigs and fresh raspberries. red potatoes,
cubedMelt and Saute:1  T. Again, trim close to the bone to remove as much of the
meat as possible. olive oilPrepare and Set Aside:4  oz. apple cider vinegarTaste;
Add for Flavor and Set Aside:   Tabasco to tasteBlanch about 2 Min. Unique
skyscraper planned near ParisHome:: Web Directory:: Heating Systems News:: Free RSS
news:: Free Newsletter:: Tell a FriendClientfinder. extra-virgin olive oil1  T.
Bring to a boil and simmer 1 minute.
Remove from pan and keep warm.
poverty, joblessness and problems with the healthcare system continue to

So it's spam, no big surprise. But I couldn't help but notice the food and drink theme running throughout. Alright spammer, lets make this recipe.

I'm going to take this step by step. First, the subject line seems more like a finishing touch, so that's how I'll treat it. I'm going to pull out some of the othe garbled stuff and put it in order. I used every word below and added none of my own. Punctuation, well, that where I added my own spices to the mix.

E-mail Casserole
Recipe by Tim V and Kit

Prepare and Set Aside:

4  oz. apple cider vinegar
red potatoes, cubed
1  T. olive oil. 1  T. extra-virgin. olive. oil.
Clientfinder
Web Directory
Heating Systems News
Tabasco to taste

Melt poverty, joblessness and problems with the healthcare system and saute.

Again, trim close to the bone to remove as much of the meat as possible.

Taste.

Tell a Friend.

Add for Flavor and Set Aside: Free RSS, Free Newsletter,Unique skyscraper planned near Paris home.

Blanch about 2 Min.

Continue to bring to a boil and simmer 1 minute.

Stir in basil, news, garlic, and pepper flakes; cook 1 minute.

Remove from pan and keep warm.

Pour into glasses and garnish with mint sprigs and fresh raspberries.

Sounds delicious, eh? I think it could use a little further tweaking. I ate this an hour ago and I'm still pulling chunks of Heating Systems News out of my teeth.

(Part Three in the British/Irish soda reviews- and it's all gone pear-shaped)

Name: Tizer (I thought it was It'z Red, too, but guess that's just a tagline)
Alleged Flavor: "...and it tastes red!"
Actual Flavor: It tastes clear- like Sprite without the Lemon-Lime
Color: Red. Very Red.
Tasting sample was from: 330 ml. can, poured into glass

TIZER- IT'Z RED
A play in one act

Characters: Tim, Debbie
Setting: Modern times, in a family room.

(Tim enters the room with a glass of bright red soda. Debbie is seated)

Debbie: What's that?

Tim: It'z Red.

Debbie (mildly annoyed): I can see that.

Tim: It'z Red.  That's what it's called. It'z Red...or Tizer.

Debbie: Weird.

(Tim takes a sniff)

Debbie: What's it smell like?

Tim: Nothing. It has no smell.

(Tim takes a drink)

Debbie:  So what does it tastes like.

Tim (incredulous): Nothing. It tastes like nothing.

Debbie: That's crazy.

(Tim continues to drink)

Tim: Maybe it tastes like Sprite, if Sprite wasn't Lemon-Lime. It's just sweet, no other taste.

(Tim drinks more)

Debbie: Huh.

Tim (sticking out tongue, then excitedly): So , is my tongue red?

Debbie: No.

Tim (sadly): Huh. It says on the can "May stain clothing if spilt."

Debbie: Well, your tongue is different than clothing. And it's already pink to begin with. So it won't stain your tongue.

Tim (firmly): What's the point, then?

-The End-

Rating: 0 out of 10.